I don’t want to tell you my secrets

February 2, 2019 2 min read

I don’t want to tell you my secrets

February 2, 2019 2 min read


I don’t want to tell you my secrets. And I don’t want to know yours.

I don’t want to reveal my trauma, my darkness, my sadness. I don’t need to know your fears, your hopes, your lifelong dreams.

I don’t want to know your middle name and you don’t need to know mine. I don’t want to meet your friends. I don’t want to book a weekend away.

I don’t want to have to fret about how I look or what I wear or whether I should have my hair up or down. I don’t want to go out of my way for you.

I want you to fit around my life, and me around yours. No sacrifice necessary.

I don’t want to have deep and meaningful conversations about the future, because I probably don’t want one with you. And you’re okay with that too.

I want you to fuck me, and then leave. A drink first, maybe, to pluck up some courage and boost my confidence. I want to be touched, softly or not. Kissed, softly or not.

Objectify me, a little. I can take it, because I’ve never had it. You don’t presume to know anything about me, and I like it. I always feel so known, so judged, before anything has even begun.

You’re not a cunt, obviously. I have your respect, and your desire, and that’s all I need.

You’ll owe me nothing.

I don’t need you, I just want you.

The world makes out like you’re so easy to find. Maybe if I looked how the world expects me to, you would be.

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About Me

About Me

Hi! I'm Sophie.

Writer, thinker, often overwhelmed.I like to talk about film, feelings and feminism. Not necessarily in that order.

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  • Hot chocolate break with @mathew_curran before we hunt down more photo opportunities - and meatballs, obviously. 🇸🇪
  • My mum got me this lady cushion and I LOVE it
  • Gripping, poetic, and consistently lightbulb-inducing as it explores a world where women rise to power, I couldn’t get enough of this book. I haven’t read fiction in years, but this reminded me that I ought to, much more often.
  • From Icelandic winds to sunny Spanish rooftops; quite the climate change, but I’m not complaining ☀️ Swipe to see some of my favourite photos from Malaga so far, or I’ll be posting the full set over at @sophslens_ 📸
  • Some of my favourite snaps from Reykjavík round 2. We came back with sore feet, tired legs and much lighter pockets (Iceland is pricey, people!), as well as a friendship even more incredible than it was before we left. I adore you @hbensonx.
  • In Reykjavík, happy as Larry. (📸 @hbensonx)
  • I’ve been spending a lot of time here, because anywhere else feels a bit too scary at the moment. Who’d have thought that throwing your old life into the fire, and letting it burn up to create a new one, would have such lasting hurdles? Its a strange feeling to know that you wouldn’t want to go back, but sometimes wish that you could. I’m done with the pressure and the comparison of trying to replace what I’ve let go of. Solitude, it turns out, is the best thing for now. And this room, with its comfy bed and grey walls and light in all the right places, isn’t such a bad place to find it.
  • This little corner of my room is my favourite; a collection of memories I’m reclaiming as my own. 🌟 After a week of ups and downs I’m going on a solo cinema trip, because sitting in a dark room and not talking to anyone feels like a good choice right now. Hope you’re having a good Sunday 🌹
  • But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

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