From My Body To My Self

Thank you for the letter you wrote me. That was over a year ago now. It’s been a while since we really communicated properly. Too long – and for that, I’m sorry. I’ve always done my best for you, to be strong for you and to keep you going but I have to be honest, you haven’t always made it easy. I can’t help the way I am, the way I’m built, how I’m made.…

Coming Off The Contraceptive Pill: 1 Year Later

I only realised recently that it’s been pretty much spot on a year since I stopped taking my contraceptive pill, something I shared on the blog in this post here. I made the decision to come off the pill because I wanted to get back in touch with my body and its natural cycle, and to see whether it would potentially impact my mental health positively – as I wasn’t sure if taking it was…

Don’t Fear The Smear: What To Expect From Your Smear Test

Not only is turning 25 a reminder that you’re officially closer to 30 than any other decade, and that you can no longer say you’re in your ‘early 20s’ – but it’s also the time that dreaded leaflet drops through your door, telling you to book your smear test. No-one really likes going to the doctors, but when it’s to have a clamp shoved up your hoo-ha and cells scraped off, it’s even less appealing.…

Photography: Cherry Blossom

These photos are from the day our new cat, Toast, took her first steps outside into our garden since we brought her home. The weather was just gorgeous; the sun going down casts this beautiful orange haze over our garden on an evening and it made our cherry blossom tree that had freshly bloomed all the more striking. I couldn’t resist getting some snaps – I’ve turned into that person who is obsessed with their…

Poetry: Drive Through

I recently became friends with the drive through The sweet anonymity of the thing I crave, passed through the small translucent square No need for self consciousness, for hunched shoulders and crossed arms Your face is barely recognised at each window The ease of the contactless card Feeding my demons in one foul swipe I pretend to mull over my choice Act like it’s for two Because who are they to know That when I…

Poetry: FULL

***This poem was written in late 2016/early 2017 (I can’t quite remember!) when I was at the peak of my disordered eating. Things have improved since then, but I thought that sharing this expression of my experiences might help others who’ve been through something similar feel less alone.*** It’s hard to explain the urge to binge Stuffing your face Feeling unhinged Visit the shop, see the mecca of calories Losing your willpower Losing all clarity…

Low Light Photography: A First Attempt

I got my hair done a few weeks ago, and had it dyed a little darker. So, naturally, I wanted to try and take a self portrait to celebrate. Is it just me or does dying your hair darker make purple lipstick just feel so much more appealing? I got the camera out around 4pm which, in February, means there wasn’t much light left. I started off taking photos facing the window front on as…

It bothers me to see thin white people making body positivity about …

Illustration by @drawnbyjovanna on Instagram It’s half eight on a Thursday night, and I am, inevitably, scrolling through Twitter. I come across a picture, from a creative person that I follow because I admire. She was sharing a picture of herself in underwear. A beautiful black and white image of her sat, slightly slouched, wearing a lacy bralette and pants. The tweet that accompanied it said something along the lines of  ‘here is my body,…

199 Steps

For Christmas, my parents surprised me with the most incredible gift – a Canon 700D camera! So, over the festive period, James and I decided to take a day trip somewhere to give it a spin! We headed to Whitby – a nostalgic place for lots of people from the North East, and somewhere that we used to go on dates on all the time. It was lovely to take a whole day for ourselves…

‘Body Positive Power’ by Megan Jayne Crabbe

Imagine you’re head to toe in clothes that are two sizes too small for you. The buttons on the jeans dig into your belly, the bra straps leave dents in your shoulders and the underwire cuts around your ribs. Your shoes pinch at the sides and you nervously pull at your shirt to stop the buttons popping at the seams. Now, imagine you’re taking it all off. One by one you undo, unzip and unbutton,…

9 Things I’ve Learned About Diet Culture

If you’re not familiar with the idea of diet culture, here’s a little introduction. Dietitian Christy Harrison describes the concept perfectly on her website here – she calls it ‘The Life Thief’, and says diet culture is a system of beliefs that: …Worships thinness and equates it to health and moral virtue, which means you can spend your whole life thinking you’re irreparably broken just because you don’t look like the impossibly thin “ideal.” …Promotes…