My Eating Disorder Doesn’t Look The Way You Think It Should

“I think I have binge eating disorder.” The words hung in the air. The trainee doctor looked terrified, left to ask someone more qualified what to do, and came back with a recommendation to join what was essentially Slimming World disguised as a medical intervention. Off I went, supposedly cured. I’m not alone in experiencing inadequate, triggering treatment in the face of an eating disorder, but that my course of action revolved around a fortnightly…

Why I’m Never Trying To Lose Weight Again

If you’re shocked by the title of this blog post, I’d love to know why. Is it because you’re surprised that someone my size (UK 18-22) isn’t desperately trying to change their body? Is it because you think I ought to be? Is it because you have spent so long in the pursuit of weight loss yourself, that you have no idea what it would be like to opt out of it? Believe me, I…

Thank You, Binge Eating

  (Illustration by @lauravennison of @notplantbased)   **Content Warning: this blog post talks about disordered eating and Binge Eating Disorder. Please give it a miss if you think this might trigger you.**   I’ve spent a long time hating my binge eating. Hating and despising the excessive, mindless consumption that makes up such a big part of my eating disorder. I’ve also spent a long time thinking that the binge eating is the problem, the…

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9 Things I’ve Learned About Diet Culture

If you’re not familiar with the idea of diet culture, here’s a little introduction. Dietitian Christy Harrison describes the concept perfectly on her website here – she calls it ‘The Life Thief’, and says diet culture is a system of beliefs that: …Worships thinness and equates it to health and moral virtue, which means you can spend your whole life thinking you’re irreparably broken just because you don’t look like the impossibly thin “ideal.” …Promotes…

My Binge Eating Recovery: An Update

The further I get along this road, the more I realise that there is no destination. Everything is a journey. Even when you think you’ve gotten somewhere, to your goal…there’s always somewhere else to aim for. Or a long way to fall backwards. I’d thought that this time would be the one that would stick. But maybe that was my mistake, for thinking that once you start getting better, you just keep getting better. That…

‘Fat People Too’ – Spoken Word Poetry Video

Here it is folks, my first spoken word video – ‘Fat People Too’ is a poem expressing my feelings about being plus size, life on the bigger side and lack of representation of overweight people when it comes to eating disorders. This is just about my experience. I hope you like it. Here’s the poem written in full: I’m fat. There, I said it. Not that the world ever lets me forget it. Don’t think…

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How Effective is Calorie Counting For Recovering Binge Eaters?

I’ve been through a lot of phases with calorie counting. There’s been odd times of a few months since I was around 18 where I’ve stuck to it religiously, using apps like My Fitness Pal to track my food and exercise, all to stay within one magic number for the day that was going to make me thin and bring me happiness – I know that to be a bullshit idea now, but it was…

My Advice On How To Beat Binge Eating

Before we begin, I must make this clear – I am NOT a professional or expert in mental health, binge eating or eating disorders, and if you’re really struggling with these issues I implore you to talk to someone and go see a doctor. All I’m offering here is what I’ve learnt in my journey to accepting my body, respecting my body and developing a more positive and balanced relationship with food. Don’t restrict yourself…

I Am More Than Food: My New Mantra

I am more than food. I am more than what’s left on my plate, or the wrappers hidden in my drawer, or the overwhelming urge to eat that consumes me at every turn. I am more than my calorie intake, or my blood sugar levels, or my waist measurement. I am more than a body, than a bloated belly, than legs spotted with cellulite and skin decorated with stretchmarks. I am more than a cup…

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Binge Eating Disorder & My Pre-Diabetic Wake Up Call

Yep, things are about to get personal. I’ve always struggled with eating, with my weight, with knowing when to stop. Ever since I was a kid I would find ways to eat more food, to sneak it when no-one was watching. I was always bigger than other kids, even when I wasn’t particularly fat. I was taller, broader, but a lot of that used to come from my love for swimming and endless laps up…