To The Man Who Fat-Shamed Me From His Car

To the man who fat-shamed me from his car – do you realise what impact your actions had that day? I was minding my own business, walking back to my car after paying for petrol. Lost in my own thoughts, of which there were many, given that I was (and still am) in the midst of a fairly tumultuous time in my life. I was minding my own business and owed you nothing, and yet…

Why I’m Never Trying To Lose Weight Again

If you’re shocked by the title of this blog post, I’d love to know why. Is it because you’re surprised that someone my size (UK 18-22) isn’t desperately trying to change their body? Is it because you think I ought to be? Is it because you have spent so long in the pursuit of weight loss yourself, that you have no idea what it would be like to opt out of it? Believe me, I…

From My Body To My Self

Thank you for the letter you wrote me. That was over a year ago now. It’s been a while since we really communicated properly. Too long – and for that, I’m sorry. I’ve always done my best for you, to be strong for you and to keep you going but I have to be honest, you haven’t always made it easy. I can’t help the way I am, the way I’m built, how I’m made.…

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Coming Off The Contraceptive Pill: 1 Year Later

I only realised recently that it’s been pretty much spot on a year since I stopped taking my contraceptive pill, something I shared on the blog in this post here. I made the decision to come off the pill because I wanted to get back in touch with my body and its natural cycle, and to see whether it would potentially impact my mental health positively – as I wasn’t sure if taking it was…

Don’t Fear The Smear: What To Expect From Your Smear Test

Not only is turning 25 a reminder that you’re officially closer to 30 than any other decade, and that you can no longer say you’re in your ‘early 20s’ – but it’s also the time that dreaded leaflet drops through your door, telling you to book your smear test. No-one really likes going to the doctors, but when it’s to have a clamp shoved up your hoo-ha and cells scraped off, it’s even less appealing.…

Poetry: FULL

***This poem was written in late 2016/early 2017 (I can’t quite remember!) when I was at the peak of my disordered eating. Things have improved since then, but I thought that sharing this expression of my experiences might help others who’ve been through something similar feel less alone.*** It’s hard to explain the urge to binge Stuffing your face Feeling unhinged Visit the shop, see the mecca of calories Losing your willpower Losing all clarity…

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It bothers me to see thin white people making body positivity about …

Illustration by @drawnbyjovanna on Instagram It’s half eight on a Thursday night, and I am, inevitably, scrolling through Twitter. I come across a picture, from a creative person that I follow because I admire. She was sharing a picture of herself in underwear. A beautiful black and white image of her sat, slightly slouched, wearing a lacy bralette and pants. The tweet that accompanied it said something along the lines of  ‘here is my body,…

‘Body Positive Power’ by Megan Jayne Crabbe

Imagine you’re head to toe in clothes that are two sizes too small for you. The buttons on the jeans dig into your belly, the bra straps leave dents in your shoulders and the underwire cuts around your ribs. Your shoes pinch at the sides and you nervously pull at your shirt to stop the buttons popping at the seams. Now, imagine you’re taking it all off. One by one you undo, unzip and unbutton,…

9 Things I’ve Learned About Diet Culture

If you’re not familiar with the idea of diet culture, here’s a little introduction. Dietitian Christy Harrison describes the concept perfectly on her website here – she calls it ‘The Life Thief’, and says diet culture is a system of beliefs that: …Worships thinness and equates it to health and moral virtue, which means you can spend your whole life thinking you’re irreparably broken just because you don’t look like the impossibly thin “ideal.” …Promotes…

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Introducing ‘Free To Be Okay With Me’

Have you ever thought about what it would feel like to be okay with your body? Up until less than a year ago, this was a completely alien concept to me. I thought that my body was made for nothing but hatred, and punishment, and loathing and restriction and resentment. I thought that I didn’t deserve to feel okay with my body, because it was so far away from what it ‘should’ be. Because it…

27 Things I Want Every Woman To Know

You know in the Matrix, where Morpheus and Neo are sat on big chairs in that dingy green room with the peeling wallpaper? Morpheus puts out his hand, spreads his fingers and says “You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.” Well, lately I feel…