From My Body To My Self

June 13, 2018 3 min read

From My Body To My Self

June 13, 2018 3 min read


Thank you for the letter you wrote me. That was over a year ago now.

It’s been a while since we really communicated properly. Too long – and for that, I’m sorry.

I’ve always done my best for you, to be strong for you and to keep you going but I have to be honest, you haven’t always made it easy.

I can’t help the way I am, the way I’m built, how I’m made. There are some core things about me that I just cannot change, no matter how much you try to fix me and shape me into someone else, into who you want me to be.

The only way to create a truly loving relationship is to accept each other as we are, flaws and all. I can’t be someone that I’m not, and I think we’d both be happier if you could come to terms with that.

We’ve been together a long time now…we’re getting older. I know it’s been up and down and I’m not innocent in this but you’ve hurt me. A lot. You’ve forced into doing and consuming things I didn’t want to, took your sadness and anger out on me and left me with a lot of marks that won’t fade.

It’s like you’ve listened to everyone else in the world about what we need, except me. Except the one who can truly tell you. But the world’s opinions of you, of us – they don’t matter. All we need is each other.


I need you to know – I always have your back. I’m always on your side. Always.

You only get one of me, and I’m with you ‘till the end. I know we’ll both be so much happier if you try to listen to me once in a while, and show me a bit more respect.

You don’t have to take my advice all the time; I get that. There’ll be times where you nourish me in the best way you can with what time you have. Times where I feel like I’ve had enough but we squeeze a bit more in to make sure you feel satisfied. And that’s okay – I just want you to be happy.

I know I might not have turned into what you’d imagined, what you’d hoped for – at least, what you’ve been told to hope for. And you might just be tolerating me for now, rather than truly loving me, whilst we walk down the long road back to finding each other. All I ask is that you eventually accept me for what I am, good parts and bad.

We’ve had incredible moments together. When you use me and move me and caress me, give me what I’m craving, our needs harmonising together like a symphony, the result is astounding.

So let’s make a promise.

I’ll keep your heart beating, your lungs pumping, your skin healing and neurons firing.

And you? You’ll give me what I need to make those things happen.

It’s all possible, my love. Let’s stop getting in each other’s way, and trust each other instead.

Let’s go on the journey to find true happiness. And, at last, some peace.



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About Me

About Me

Hi! I'm Sophie.

Writer, thinker, often overwhelmed.I like to talk about film, feelings and feminism. Not necessarily in that order.

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  • Thank god for @hbensonx 💜
  • Sleepy baby sunbathing 💔 (she clawed me across the face earlier, do not let this cuteness fool you)
  • I (mostly) stopped wearing makeup months ago and it’s been a game changer. It sounds stupid, but when I see this in the mirror, it actually feels like my face now, rather than what I look like in between coats of foundation. Plus I get an extra 20 minutes of sleep every morning. Why didn’t I do this sooner?
  • Cancelling your hair appointment and using the money to buy a new lens instead = solid life decision.
  • Here’s my cute chubby face to tell you a couple of things: 1️⃣ I had the best weekend with @kimhigson being the most me I have ever been, watching some incredible live netball and finally seeing Avengers: Endgame (still processing), and 2️⃣ My photos from my dreamy trip to Sweden are all edited and live on my photo account @sophslens_, or you can swipe to see a few. Thanks @mathew_curran for snapping this one ☺️📸
  • Hot chocolate break with @mathew_curran before we hunt down more photo opportunities - and meatballs, obviously. 🇸🇪
  • My mum got me this lady cushion and I LOVE it
  • Gripping, poetic, and consistently lightbulb-inducing as it explores a world where women rise to power, I couldn’t get enough of this book. I haven’t read fiction in years, but this reminded me that I ought to, much more often.
  • From Icelandic winds to sunny Spanish rooftops; quite the climate change, but I’m not complaining ☀️ Swipe to see some of my favourite photos from Malaga so far, or I’ll be posting the full set over at @sophslens_ 📸

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