You know in the Matrix, where Morpheus and Neo are sat on big chairs in that dingy green room with the peeling wallpaper?
Morpheus puts out his hand, spreads his fingers and says “You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.”
Well, lately I feel like I’ve taken the red pill. Whilst I haven’t mastered kung fu or learned how to move in bullet time, I have fallen into the wonderland that is social justice, feminism and the fight against diet culture.
In an effort to help myself recover from my Binge Eating Disorder, I started looking for resources to help me learn more about why I felt so bad about myself and how to get better. In the process, I came across all kinds of great things that have really opened my eyes to the dialogue that women and femmes are fed every day by society. We are told so many things, both consciously and subconsciously, that negatively affects mental health, physical health and quality of life for so many of us.
And guys, there’s so much to be angry about.
I want to help women see the lies we’re told all our lives and help everyone realise how incredible they are instead.
So, here’s 27 things that I think every woman-identifying human needs to know.
1. Your natural face is beautiful, and doesn’t need to be changed or covered up…
2.….but if you want to do so by using makeup, that’s okay too!
3. Females can be the breadwinners too
4. The idea of ‘having it all’ is bullshit – whatever you do or do not want to have is enough
5. Your worth is NOT determined by your appearance
6. Your worth is NOT determined by your weight
7. Your worth is NOT determined by your health
8. Thinness does NOT equate health or beauty
9. Being outside the thin and white ideal does not mean you should accept being fetishized to be seen as sexually attractive
10. The smell of your vagina is completely natural – and you shouldn’t waste your time trying to disguise it!
11. Your menstrual cycle is not a burden on humanity – in fact it’s what’s keeping it going!
12. You DO deserve to be paid the same as male counterparts for the exact same job, and shouldn’t be afraid to ask for it too (but I understand why you might be)
13. Just because you’re in a bigger body, it doesn’t mean you have to compensate by being ‘bubbly’
14. There’s no such thing as a slut, and every person has a right to promiscuity…
15. …but there’s nothing wrong with choosing not to be sexually active either
16. The concept of ‘losing your virginity’ is a load of shite, and your value does not depend on being a virgin or not
17. Your body is yours and yours alone, to nourish and satisfy and do with as you please!
18. Your emotions don’t make you crazy, or a burden – and you don’t have to hide them
19. Being a feminist doesn’t mean you hate men!
20. You don’t have to fit a femme ideal to be accepted
21. To experiment with your sexuality is NOT for the gratification of men
22. Having an interest in traditionally feminine things is not frivolous or a reflection on your intelligence
23.You being a good person is not dependant on your ability to lose weight or maintain a certain size
24. Remember, people profit from making you feel bad about yourself – and you don’t have to buy or own anything to make you happy
25. You do not live only to serve other people
26. As Christy Harrison would say, diet culture can act as a ‘life thief’ – don’t let it rob you of your precious time on this earth
27. Sister, if you take anything from this post, make it this. Whoever you are, whatever your size, whatever you do – you are worthy of love, respect and happiness.